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confessions of a potential workaholic. [Monday
February 6th, 2006 at 1:05am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Michael Tolcher - Bad Habit ]

Had a snatch of time to surf. An hour seems like HEAVEN to me now unlike before when I can go on for hours online. Anyway, enough about that. I have a new job and it's totally different from my previous job. I seem to pick the oddest and hardest to describe jobs. Well, in a nutshell, what I do now is a combination of CSR and Proofreader job of (drumroll please)... FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS. You know the US SEC documents that companies need to submit annually or quarterly? We do those kind of stuff. Don't ask me how I found this job or why I am there. It's gonna be an ultra-long post which we'll save for later. Or maybe not because it might bore you to tears. I know that I'm always MIA in gimmicks, parties and the lot (that's why my friends don't invite me anymore. hahaha) but this MIA thing is totally out of this world! It's not about curfews anymore or lack of transpo (although I still have those problems) but about pure work. I PRACTICALLY LIVE IN THE OFFICE. I mean, I go on 12-16 hours shifts. Grabe no? Can you imagine the Queen of Cuts in a workaholic mode? Freaky diba? Oh well. I'm enjoying this pace. Pumapayat daw ako e. Hahahahaha. Seriously though, I go home tired but not dreading the next day that I have to go to work. I'm on the night shift so YEY! Special mention to malevolentgenius, valkyrieonv_12 and jajajas. Miss ya!!! Jas, haven't gotten the earrings yet kasi sobrang toxic nga. Sorry, sorry for not replying. Til the next post (after 48 years).

5
stand up, you bitch!

[Thursday
November 10th, 2005 at 9:57am]
[ music | Backstreet Boys ]

Got no time to update but I feel like procrastinating now. Ahay.

Check this out. They're crazy!!! Hahahaha.

They're endorsers of a Motorola phone in China. Grabe. Laugh trip lang talaga kanina pa. Mag-isa lang ako tumatawa. Kayo din!

Back Dormitory Boys )

7
stand up, you bitch!

Tagged by Jas! [Thursday
October 20th, 2005 at 8:48am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Superdrag vs. Sessionroad ]

Write 20 Random Facts About Yourself, Then Tag The Same Number Of People As Minutes It Takes You To Write The Facts. If You're Tagged, It's Your Turn.

1. Longest inuman = 8pm - 9am with village friends..
2. Pangarap kong magkaron ng beetle (yung luma).
3. Naka-dekwat ako ng 1 hardbound book sa library ng STC nung 2nd year dahil sa classmate ko (it's still with me).
4. Gusto kong matuto mag-soccer.
5. Takot ako sa ipis.
6. Major booboo nung college nung napagkamalan ko yung isang tao na kakilala ko, pinalopalo ko pa siya, tangina di ko pala talaga siya kilala.
7. Bahay ko ang Starbucks nung college.
8. Puede akong di lumabas ng kwarto ng mga 2 linggo sa kakabasa lang ng libro. 
9. PANGARAP KONG MAGKAROON NG BOOKSTORE/CAFE NA NAGBEBENTA NG BOOKS NA HINDI PINATUNGAN NG SOBRA SOBRA.
10. Nagkaroon kami ng mini-sari sari store ni Andrea nung 4th year HS dati.
11. Tinawag akong demonyo ni Mrs. Dacutan nung 4th year dahil naka Chun Li hair ako.
12. Major pet peeve: dumudura at umiihi sa kalye or in public. 
13. Malakas gag reflex ko, pag may nakita akong nasusuka, ako din nasusuka na.
14. Wala akong pasensya sa mga taong engot.
15. Mahilig akong gumawa ng mix cds na may themes.
16. OC ako sa mga music files ko sa media player, down to the composer and lyrics...
17. I still have high hopes for the country kahit na gago ang ibang pinuno natin.
18. Mahilig ako sa movies na may subtitles.
19. Gusto kong mag-disenyo ng fabrics, mga damit na talaga at mga accessories (yung last one, mejo sablay ako).
20. I love stars.

I tag:

1. incubus_boy

2. thisbitch

3. spoiledbrat

4. abbylicious83

5. valkyrieonv12

stand up, you bitch!

[Monday
October 10th, 2005 at 11:13am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Cold - sessiOnroad ]

Cold - sessiOnroad

As you turn away from me
I'm secretly hoping
That you'd come around
And break the spell on me
It seems like i'ts fading
The fire between us
Has died down and now
You left me questioning
And I feel so lonely inside
With the pieces of the loving ways we cried
And I feel so empty now you've
Gone and took away my pride
Why cant you reach out for me?
You're pulling me under
As the darkness blinds the world
Right out of me
I feel like I'm trembling
My knees are shaking
Cause I know there's something
You're not telling me

stand up, you bitch!

[Friday
October 7th, 2005 at 11:17am]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Ok Na! - Milk n' Money & If You Leave - Nada Surf ]

The process of thinking is so complicated. I am accused all too often that of thinking too much. But is that a wrong thing to do? Is it wrong to at least anticipate and exhaust every angle you can think of? There's a difference in this kind of thinking with a paranoiac's way of thinking. Paranoid is when you think of possibilities when there's none. What I was talking about is thinking when there's actually something to think about, be it part of your personal history or how well you know someone.

Sometimes it takes an awful lot of work for a person to realize the one thing that he/she should never have doubted. But then again, in my opinion, casting everything in doubt is the best approach. Naku, philosophic inquiry na ito. Hehe. Calling Descartes!

Anyway, I have this friend whom we shall call Rainbow. She experienced a terrible journey, thinking about countless possibilities regarding a ghost from her past. She certainly had a "past" with this guy. Although they didn't become official, there was some kind of unspoken understanding between them as well as hints of the feelings that both tried to hide. Well, the guy didn't really value her. She was his meantime girl. Rainbow became the girl he always goes to at the end of a relationship, the one thing that's constant in his life. I guess that she always believed that the guy would come back to her and would one day realize that she's the one. This went on until he dated and became official with one of Rainbow's close friends. She was hurt because he and the friend hid the relationship from her. Rainbow reached the end of her tether and told the guy that she needs to get out of his life. I understand her dilemma, it's either get out or be forever chained to a seemingly hopeless situation. After a few months spent building what she lost and finding the missing pieces of her life, she met someone. The new guy became her boyfriend. She took the risk of going into a relationship without really knowing this new guy. After a rocky start, they're finally okay. They are both happy and honest with each other. (Just want to remark on that coz it's an important element in this tale)

Well, the problem started when she found out that her ghost broke up with her ex-friend. Then the guy decided to connect with her again through (drumroll please...) Friendster. Grabe, ang dami ng nangyayari sa Friendster na yan. I think people see it as a harmless and risk-free way of forming and re-establishing interpersonal relationships. Cowards, all of them. Hahaha. To get back to the story, Rainbow became very confused. She wanted to salvage her friendship with the guy but then again, she was afraid of bringing it all back - the pain and the heartache which, according to her, marked the time of their friendship. She decided to respond through Friendster din and all she got were responses clearly stating that her ghost was playing mind games with her.

She again became very confused because there's this possibility that her ghost has finally arrived to the conclusion that he's READY for her. Kasi before, he told her that he doesn't want him to be her first boyfriend which means that there's this very BIG possibility (which I think still exists) that he just want to explore everything there is to explore (sowing his wild oats, so to speak) before he goes back to her. It's like he wants to be whole before he presents himself to her. It's so chauvinistic of him. Does he expect her to wait patiently while she has all the fun? Kapal!

According to Rainbow, she's faced with two roads: one with her boyfriend who promised a happy life but not so smooth sailing and the one with her ghost which promised something really good at the end of a very, very hard road. She admitted that she doesn't want something she can easily get. I told her that there are two possibilities, to be apathetic which means that she won't have regrets in leaving the stuff forever dangling or she can choose to respond to him pero syempre, there's this big possibility na hahaba pa ang storya which is equated to more pain and heartaches.

In the end, she decided that she doesn't want anything to do with her ghost anymore. She casted everything in doubt, including her relationship and feelings for her boyfriend, to finally arrive to her conclusion. Rainbow said that she doesn't want to risk everything for something that she doesn't consider worthy of the risk. She couldn't find something to hold on to with the ghost, so it's not worth it. Moreover, she said that both she and the ghost existed in a reality which only the two of them understand while her relationship with her boyfriend is based on a reality which everyone can share.

I was about to comment something but she seemed okay with everything so I decided to shut up na. (Imagine that! Hahahaha). So, I'll just write it here. I don't think that she'll have the chance naman to read it. But if she does, ok lang din. I respect her decision to choose the easier way even if she says that her boyfriend told her that it's not gonna be really a smooth road for them. But the possibility that there would be happiness is there. Whereas with the ghost, she thinks that it's gonna be hard pa din for her. However, I beg to differ because I think that what she endured with the guy was already the HARD ROAD. She also told me that her happy moments with the ghost are so few and that the only thing she got out of the relationship was pain - so I wonder why did she call him a friend (even until we walked back to the office)? If you're not happy with the person, then you're not friends, right? Or am I being too simplistic again? She described that maybe the ghost was her pot at the end of the rainbow. Hmm.. (Can I leave it with a "hmm" na lang?) Another thing is that she talked about a friendship and something more existing in a reality which only the two of them understood. It seemed that she doesn't believe in this anymore, that she doesn't consider it real. As someone who experienced a reality which only two people share, I again beg to differ because this is indeed possible and it is real. Others can't share it because there are some things that the people sharing that reality couldn't afford to be seen or that the things governing their reality are not yet clear between them. But it's real, and it's tangible. I'm not claiming that I'm an expert when it comes to relationships but I think that what they shared was something valuable, for they wouldn't reach the level of closeness they have achieved and it was real and tangible no matter what she thinks.

I understand her pain and her reluctance but the possibility of the guy coming back is so big that I don't think she can escape his presence without having one final (kung final nga) match with him. It's a risk but with her boyfriend's staying power (I know this for sure), it's not a total one. But she chose na nga the other way so I'll just support her. Sayang because the ghost didn't really understand the risk he took when he decided to have all the fun. The risk was RAINBOW. On the other hand, you've gotta admire him too, diba? Imagine having that much faith on the girl? Hehe. Humahaba na 'to. I don't think Rainbow's gonna be happy with me when she reads this, but hey, I'm just making my own observations about the issue.

Well, I hope she won't regret the decision. Either way, I'll be there for her. She called me her evil conscience. That's who I am. Hehe.

2
stand up, you bitch!

Fuckin' tower [Thursday
September 29th, 2005 at 10:20am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | The Tower - Vivian Teng ]

The Tower - Vivian Teng

the one who survives by making the lives
of others worthwhile
she's coming apart
right before my eyes
the one who depends on the services she renders
to those who come knocking
she's seeing too clearly what she can't be
what understanding defies
she says I need not to need
or else a love with intuition
someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go
I need not to need
I've always been the tower
but now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow
she turns out the light anticipating night falling
tenderly around her
and watches the dusk
the words won't come
she carries the act so convincingly the fact is
sometimes she believes it
that she can be happy the way things are
be happy with the things she's done
reach out
but hold back
where is safety
reach out
and hold back
where is the one who can change me
where is the one
the one
the one
reach out
but hold back
where is safety
reach out
and hold back
where is the one who can save me
where is the one
the one
the one

3
stand up, you bitch!

Kanino ka hihimatayin? [Monday
September 19th, 2005 at 2:03pm]
[ mood | and cranky... ]
[ music | Coffee and TV ]

Had an interesting conversation at lunch today with Bajoy and Caesar. I asked them, "Sino yung taong kapag nakita nyo e hihimatayin kayo?". I named Becks, Mandela, Thatcher, Garcia-Marquez (pero di na puede) and Le Guin. Bajoy said that if Brad Pitt stares at her, saka lang siya mahihimatay. Then the conversation shifted to crushables kasi sinimulan ni Brad Pitt. So, we mentioned Johnny Depp's stare (swoon!); George Clooney's smile (swoon!) and Jude Law's smile and stare (double swoon!). Hahaha. Anyway, Bajoy told me that she'd include in her Friendster description: himamatayin with Fay because of the crushables. Hehehe.
Caesar named Jessica Alba. Major HOTTIE! Hmm. Then Kai joined us and that's when the conversation became weird. She named among others Madonna, ang babaing ahas (Who the fuck?) and Ike Lozada na kinagot ni Bajoy by naming King Kong and Godzilla. Hahahaha.

Hay. Am procrastinating because I don't know how the hell I'm gonna finish this HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS RISK ASSESSMENT. (WTF, again!)

Oh well, kayo? Kanino kayo hihimatayin?

7
stand up, you bitch!

Can't get enough of you, baby! [Sunday
September 11th, 2005 at 9:43pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | More, More, More!!! ]

Haay...

I really have a serious love affair...

...with earrings.

Don't like pearls that much because they remind me of weddings. Formal.

So, for me, the funkier, the better.

Anyway, the weekend after I bought those fantabolous earrings from [info]jajajas, I got a very, very nice surprise from [info]brattybitch who gave me a nice pair of earrings, boho look and on Monday, I got a funky star-shaped  red pair of earrings from Bajoy.

Ang galing. I so love them just as I love [info]brattybitch and Bajoy tabla. Hehe.

Can't get enough of you, baby! )

If only I could just stare at these earrings all day and not spend time working... Haay!
[info]</b></a>[info]

1
stand up, you bitch!

Blowing my earnings on earrings. (Trying hard to make it rhyme) [Tuesday
September 6th, 2005 at 3:32pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Pretend to be nice - Letters to Cleo ]

As you well know, and for those who do not magkalimutan na tayo, one of my biggest weaknesses is earrings. What do you know[info]jajajas  went here and showed me some really deelish earrings. Took a long time to decide which of them should I buy because I wanted to buy all three. Ack.

Anyway, here they are! If you're interested, just go to her lj and contact her or text me or whatever. Hehe.

Earrings Galore! )

I wanted to model all of them kaya lang baka magulat kayo at itakwil nyo ako. Hahaha.

I'm so proud of Jas. Galing talaga niya. Kaya bumili na kayo!!! Nice plug. Diba, Jas?

2
stand up, you bitch!

Beaded Coin Bags, anyone? [Tuesday
August 30th, 2005 at 9:23am]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | Yeah Whatever! - Splender ]

My friend, [info]jajajas is selling beaded coin bags she made. Check them out!

stand up, you bitch!

[Friday
August 26th, 2005 at 11:01pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Burn - Usher ]

Wanted to write about an important event which happened today, but I still couldn't bring myself to write about it. Anyway, I guess I was able to write about My Gulay Goddess because Nikki tipped me off the night before. But this happened really fast.

Ahay. Yun lang ang masasabi namin ni Gemmie na ka-ym ko ngayon. Hay.

Baka bukas, masulat ko na. Kelangan isulat dito kasi mahalaga yung taong yon e.

*pero meron naman ding ibang taong inakalang mahalaga na hindi rin naman dapat isulat dito dahil dapat ng kalimutan*

Yikes. Bitter!

Hahaha!

2
stand up, you bitch!

[Thursday
August 18th, 2005 at 9:07am]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung ]

My Gulay Goddess was let go yesterday. It happened after I left the office. Ahay. It seems that all my yosi partners (there were only two) are destined to leave the office.

Now, I'm smoking alone again.

The universe is good to My Gulay Goddess because it gave her the chance to explore more of the world and go back to her root. But it took back something from her: the job.

Her departure in the office is bittersweet. Though I am sad that I won't be able to see her make funny faces at herself or pose in front of the mirror checking out her bangs or even do crazy jumps ala Archie Comics, I'm glad that she's now free. A dragonfly/free spirit like her can't be caged in an office.

10 Things I'll miss about My Gulay Goddess!

1. Posing in front of the mirror

2. Jumping and dancing

3. Talks about that traveller boy and that jock boy

4. Talks about music and a certain jacketed boy

5. Smoking

6. Talks about the universe

7. Out of this world terminologies such as "the lordness"

8. Mimicking other people

9. Talks about films and indie whatever.

10. Laugh trip about anything and everything.

Fly, the lordness, fly!

Another one resigned this morning. He's one of the members of ABUSED too. Ahay.

1
stand up, you bitch!

[Monday
August 15th, 2005 at 9:15am]
[ mood | numb ]
[ music | I Try - Macy Gray ]

Minsan lang to kaya pagbigyan na.

How many ways can one say that it's over? A simple wave of the hand, or a shake of the head. It can even be as insensitive as a text message, as dramatic as a letter or as cruel as silence.

Okay na. Nailabas na ang kadramahan na yon. Pa-literary effect kunwari. Hahahaha.

stand up, you bitch!

[Monday
August 8th, 2005 at 11:33am]

"Hands Clean"

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian

I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

6
stand up, you bitch!

[Tuesday
July 26th, 2005 at 11:34am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Isa,

Dalawa,

Tatlo...

Asan ang anino mo?

stand up, you bitch!

ONE [Tuesday
July 19th, 2005 at 8:56pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Across the Universe - The Beatles ]

I know what you're thinking. Napagkatuwaan na naman niya [info]ang LJ nya at sinipag mag-post.And you're absolutely right.Last na 'to for tonight, I promise.

If you have the time, please sign up at www.one.org. It's not gonna ask you for anything but contact details (email address which I'm sure you have plenty of). It will only take about 30 seconds of your precious time. This is a campaign to help the AIDS and poverty problem in Africa. Now, you're gonna ask me why the hell would you care for Africa when the Philippines is in turmoil itself. Good question! Well, do you have a say on what's gonna happen here? Oh, I forgot, everyone has an opinion of the situation but the problem is: we're all talk and no action. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Call me jaded but I'm just gonna stick to signing up at www.one.org. At least, my voice here would be appreciated, no? As the organization's massive campaigns say, "We don't need your money. We just need your voice."

Go! Sign-up!
</b></a>[info]

1
stand up, you bitch!

[Tuesday
July 19th, 2005 at 8:32pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | Happy birthday Joshy, amuyin kilikili! ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stand up, you bitch!

Finally... [Tuesday
July 19th, 2005 at 10:13am]
[ mood | hyper ]
[ music | Eager Angels - sessiOnroad ]

Which annoying singer/pop star are you going to kill? (all celebrities per request) by wandastruckstop
Name:
Birthdate (mm/dd/yy):
Favorite Color:
Who you will kill:
When:September 8, 2022
Quiz created with MemeGen!
1
stand up, you bitch!

People leave you behind... [Monday
July 18th, 2005 at 2:02pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down ]

So many things have happened which I have yet to put here. It occurred to me last night that the events I want to write about have a common theme: LEAVING.

Flight # 1: My friend, Joanna, has left for the States to pursue higher studies. We had a mini-despedida party before she left at A Veneto, this really affordable Italian place near my house. Pam, Alex, Krista and Joy were there. Too bad, Me-ann wasn't able to go. Anyway, I think Pam, Jo and A were all surprised that I was there. Ahay. At least I got to see Joanna for the last time. She's doing one hell of a job. She has made all of us proud. Grabe. I won't be surprised if I hear that she won the Nobel Prize one day.

For Joanna's flight: Sometimes people leave, but you know that they'll come back, better than ever.

Flight # 2: It's difficult for someone to write about a friend who's leaving the country for quite some time. However, it's doubly difficult to write about a friend who seems to have left you without even being in another country, much less a province. I don't want to bore every loser who'll take time reading this with the deets of the whole sad, but true story. ( Sorry, LJ friends and other gossipmongers like me :) ) Let's name my friend, 2Tone to make it easier for me to write about this instead of using "my friend" over and over again. It's just that that person has been a part of my life for a very long time and now I feel that 2Tone's so far away. We can't reach 2Tone and we're left of only two options which we don't think will ever work. It's either go for a confrontation or forget about the issue. It's sad, I know. I am not a selfish person that I just want all those I hold dear to forever be close to me. I do not expect to coddle my friends or keep them under my wings forever because I clearly understand the need to fly. Oh well.

For 2Tone's flight: If you feel that people leave you behind when they are just there beside you, then it means that there is little chance for them to come back to you.

Flight # 3: The story of flight # 2 is similar to this one. The characters of this story are Doubly Single, Glass House and Pathetic. Doubly Single and Pathetic had been friends since way, way back. Deception played a huge role, definitely one that eclipsed any Hollywood role ever played, in the destruction of their friendship. Pathetic and Glass House kept something from Doubly Single which they thought was of sooooooo much importance when the truth was that Doubly Single couldn't care less. (That's what's wrong with some people who sometimes think that the whole world revolves around them - stariray) Being such good friends as they were, you would expect more than courtesy right? Oh well. The whole debacle ended (has it?) with so many people affected, including Glass House and I. I wonder what will happen.

For Doubly Single and Pathetic's Flight: Sometimes, people leave and you couldn't care less. I say, good riddance! Oops. Wrong word... Should be "Puñeta!" (hahahaha!)

 No questions as to the identities of the characters. Feeling na naman ako that people will read this. Hahaha.

3
stand up, you bitch!

k8ie blues [Thursday
May 19th, 2005 at 10:58am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | Breakdown ala k8 again ]

UAAP season's just around the corner. All sorts of news are flying around. Hmm... Boy, am I excited! July 10!!!

I always equate UAAP games with my friends, especially k8 for a number of reasons, most of which I can't write here. Hehe. 'k8 left for the States and I've gotta admit that I really haven't let myself think to much that she's not here anymore... that I can't just call her and meet her in Ateneo. It seems that if I didn't think about it, it would somehow negate the reality that she's so far away. I haven't even mailed my precious Starbucks postcard because of that same reason. But now that UAAP is just around the corner, I can't help but think about her.

I'm afraid I'm gonna get so senti on July 10 because I won't see 'k8 anymore skulking around or standing there all smug because she's in lower box while we're way, way up in Upper B. (I hope to God that's not gonna happen anymore now that Mon's got more connections. Hahahah!!)

Ahay.

It's 'k8's birthday today. That's the real reason why I wrote this 'k8ie blues.

Happy Birthday, 'k8!!! Miss you so much!

Couldn't find Mary blue or whatever blue Ateneo uses so you have to settle for that, ok?

Pucha. Need to smoke. Or I'll start leaking here in the office. Kahiya. Uy, puedeng pang-headline yon ah? "Office girl, namatay sa kaiiiyak sa harap ng computer." Pota. Nonesense na.

1
stand up, you bitch!

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